From Kindergarten to Graduation: One Dean's Whole-School Approach

Parrish Eiskamp
Dean of Students, Blue Mountain Union School
Orange East Supervisory Union
Wells River, Vermont

In a most interesting twist of our pattern of interviewing “teachers”, this quarter’s “Voice” is that of a pre-K-12 Dean of Students at Blue Mountain Union School. Parrish Eiskamp impressed me as a kind, caring, and welcoming man, whose office – and ears - are open to all; students, primarily, but faculty and family members as well, in that students’ concerns and those of the school often arise within a context of others. 

Parrish reminded me of the beloved guidance counselor at the school where I first began my career in education. Verdell Jones was the heart of our school, a sounding board to all, good humored always, “Switzerland”, as it were. Parrish is very much like Verdell, in sensitivity as well as appearance.

As Parrish described his work, his days, his students, it became clear that he held the population’s emotional wellbeing, mental health, interpersonal relationships, challenges, and each student’s longitudinal journey through their formative years sacred. He sees the whole, and cares deeply. What is said in Parrish’s office stays in that place; trust is foremost.

Parrish Eiskamp always wanted to work in Psychology. After a couple of stints in more clinical settings, he found his way to this position at Blue Mountain. He loves it! (And I’m quite sure the feeling is mutually felt by the community.)

Tell us about your journey to BMU…

I’m from upstate New York. I grew up in Middle Granville, New York, which is just over the border from Poultney, Vermont. My stepdad taught for 42 years at Poultney High School and my mom was a PE teacher earlier in her career. So, I've been around educators for my entire life. 

When I went to college, I was interested in school counseling. I studied psychology, then worked at Poultney High School for a year after graduating. From there, I went on to work at Brookhaven, a residential program for boys in Chelsea for six years. I grew attached to the Chelsea area but eventually left Brookhaven and worked as an admissions counselor at the College of St. Joseph in Rutland.  After a year or so I realized that wasn't really something that I enjoyed. It was a lot of traveling and salesmanship, which isn’t a strength of mine.

A job opened at Chelsea, a K to 12 school, as a student support specialist. I knew the community because I had been there and made some connections. So long story short, I was offered the job there and have been in this area since. I remember my first day at Chelsea talking to the principal and I asked, “what do you want me to do?” He said, “don't worry, they'll come”. He wasn't wrong. As time went on, I connected with students and I was almost always with students. During the ten years I spent at Chelsea I coached baseball, JV girls’ basketball, varsity girls’ soccer and was the athletic director for seven years. During that time, I was very much involved in all things Chelsea School. Eventually, Act 46 came along, and the Chelsea community decided to close their high school. It was a sad time to be part of the school; the students loved their school intensely. As budget season began there was talk of reducing the student support position and the athletic director position would look different without a high school.   

The Dean of Students position opened at BMU, so I decided to explore that. Lo and behold, I've been here for the last seven years. I just tried to bring the same mentality here that I had [in Chelsea]. You need to connect with children; you need to connect with adults and make meaningful relationships. If you don't have those relationships then it's really difficult to navigate, particularly in a role where you're dealing with discipline, and sometimes, heightened emotions from parents, staff members or students. I just try to stay even and work through it together. Having that established relationship to be able to have challenging conversations, I feel, in my role is probably the most important element. 

So, you're probably having as many conversations with adults - staff members and parents, as with kids? 

Definitely. Negotiating, or mediating, it’s finding that middle ground. Oftentimes, I'll call the parent, but it won't typically be the first time that I've spoken to that parent. The groundwork has already been laid to be able to have a difficult conversation and have it be meaningful. And a lot of times it's asking what is going to be most impactful for your child. It's not about us as adults; it’s about the students. And, if that means spending the day in school or having them go home for a day or doing something else – whatever is going to be more productive. BMU is family-like, we’re partners. We're all working together with the common goal of helping students become adults that are functioning in society and contributing in some way. 

I am also responsible for ensuring that substitutes are assigned to the areas that are the priority for a given day, which may entail asking other educators to cover in different areas. I can’t say that anyone is excited when they see me walk into their room first thing in the morning as it likely means they are being reassigned to another area. But as I said, everyone understands that we are trying to do what is best for our students. 

From Brookhaven, Poultney, to Chelsea and Blue Mountain, Parrish has been in practice approximately twenty-five years! He has enjoyed a substantial and meaningful career.

As with many of our distinguished rural Vermont teachers, he loves living and working in this rural area. He is visibly content where he is. He loves being active in sports, fitness, outdoors, has coached and served as Athletic Director. 

He has no plans to leave the area or job. The gestalt works for him, the school, his family, his partner and two kids.

We have roots here. My partner Jessica is from Chelsea. Her mother, who is a retired educator, and brother still live there.

We live in West Newbury with our 2 incredible children, Rafferty and Lennon. Jessica has taught at Bradford Elementary School (BES) for 18 years and is very happy there. Lennon is in kindergarten and Rafferty is in third grade at BES. Our home is roughly the same distance from BMU and BES. I enjoy working at BMU and couldn’t be happier. 

Clearly, Parrish loves what he’s doing now, his work, his surroundings, being able to be outside, active…

I absolutely love it. I wouldn't want to do anything else. I work in a pre-K 12 school, so I have the opportunity to see these children as they come through our entire building. The elementary hallway is over here, so they come down this hallway and then 5-6 is at the end of the other hallway and they come back up through the middle school and into the high school. 

For example, years ago I spent a significant amount of time with a particular child that was in 5th grade. Now this student is doing quite well and no longer needs my support. Occasionally, our paths cross to say hello or ask how one other is doing since we haven't seen each other in so long. It's very, very fulfilling. I have a unique experience, being able to work with students when they begin their school journey until they graduate high school. I’ve been privileged to have similar experiences at Chelsea and BMU.

A few times each year Scott Blood (elementary principal) and I participate in a fun activity during a PBIS assembly. Last year we had a dad joke telling contest and the students voted for the winner, I currently hold the crown. Other years we have had ping pong matches, tricycle races, and defending ourselves against water balloons with tennis ratchets. We try to have a little fun along the way and it’s clear that the students enjoy our silly competitions. 

Any positional shifts or changes ahead?

No. There are people that say to me, “I don't know how you do what you do every day.”  I love what I do every day. I don't ever wake up and feel like, oh, I don't want to go to work today. I enjoy the adults and students, truthfully, BMU is a wonderful place to be, and I understand the value in the work that I do. I also know that the work is appreciated by all stakeholders. That’s not to say that there are not any challenges, but we work through them together. If every day was easy, it wouldn't be called work, right? People think I must be so stressed out but I don't feel stressed out. I enjoy coming to work and the people I work with.

Have you had any sights on administration? 

That's been a conversation lately and I've been exploring options. UVEI is one of the programs I’ve been in conversation with; we are discussing next steps and what that may look like.

Ultimately, I really like what I do and don't necessarily have a strong desire to be a principal. There are skills that I have that would translate well but I really enjoy what I'm doing now. 

What I do is very assistant principal-like minus the adult supervision and the ability to suspend students without principal approval. I work collaboratively with the principals, which to me is a better method than being siloed. I can walk down the hall and say to Scott or Emilie, “so-and-so did this today. I'm thinking this is a logical consequence”, and we talk through it, and we figure out what makes the most sense. When possible, we come up with some options and then I'll call the parent to present them, always trying to keep in mind what is going to be most impactful to the student. There are some situations that are black and white, but we try to work with families to decide what's going to have the best outcome. 

We're playing the long game. From the outside looking in, I'm trying to figure out how when it’s time for a student to transition to the next grade, what are the things we can do to help them? And there are going to be years that are difficult and it's unfortunate, but it is reality. And we have to be able to work together to get through it. 

When I see the kindergartner that's struggling, I'm thinking about down the road, because they're going to be here, most likely. I’m hoping to find that pathway to success. There's a lot of wins. There are a lot of days that are difficult and things that nobody wants to have to deal with. But there are so many great days in between, so many of these little successes. For example, when you see a student in the hallway helping another student or a child picking up a piece of trash and it's like - this kid, these students, are picking up what we're doing and what we're modeling as a school. As adults, we try to model how we want others to behave, right? And if we're not doing that, we're doing something wrong. 

Parrish shared anonymous stories of students “with” whom he had been able to make a difference for them over time, such that they moved from experiencing serious challenges to creating more stable paths. Once “frequent flyers” to his office, or he to them, they were able to move on to just checking in with one another, saying hello, creating success by graduation and beyond. I say, “with” because in our conversations, Parrish is quick to deflect credit. He sees this as a “we”, not an “I”.

I'm certainly not an emotional person, but those are the things that just warm your heart and keep you going.... you know, because of that success, because that could have gone any number of ways and it worked out. Things were put in place to help that student get to where they needed to be. It's great, that is what we are trying to do.

How much Parrish loves his time with students/children becomes clear as he talks about work, coaching, or parenting his own two. 

I spend copious amounts of time with my children. If I could do one thing, that's what I would do. We enjoy going for a hike, playing sports, gardening, creating art, going to the beach, and just being together. Whatever they're into we try to find a way to ensure they have the opportunity to pursue that interest. I was able to spend a lot of time with my children during COVID; it was a very difficult experience for the entire world. But I valued the extra time that we were able to spend together.

I thoroughly enjoy working with kids of all ages. I currently coach my son’s Minors Baseball Team and assist my daughter’s Coach Pitch Team. In the fall I coached Varsity Girls Soccer as well as my son's third grade soccer team and assisted with my daughter’s kindergarten soccer team. I've probably coached for 20 - 25 seasons over 17 years. One year I coached three high school sports and was the athletic director, that was a lot. 

I liked being an athletic director because you can connect with kids in a very different way. There's value in my job now and in coaching, because I see everybody, but there are some kids I see in the building a lot while others I don’t see as often. When I get to step out onto the sports field, I'm able to connect with different students in a different way. It's wonderful, it just balances things out.  And again, it gives me a different perspective of what's going on in our building, because I can ask kids on the sports field, how was their school day today?  A student may say ‘This class went poorly today or so and so was in an awful mood today’ This information I wouldn't have known otherwise. 

I'm not necessarily going to take their side, but I will listen, I will always listen. Sometimes it's helpful for them to hear that, I'm going to listen to you. I'm also probably getting to hear from your teacher or another adult in the building. We're going to all work it out. Which is a great lesson in life. People aren't going to solve your problems for you. You’ve got to work through it. And talking about it helps that process. If you hold on to something, it becomes a burden, right? You come into my office and you let it all out. I tell students all the time, you can come in here, you close the door, say whatever you need to say. If there's something we need to do with that, fine, but if you just want to get it off your chest so you don't have to carry it around... That's great. Go about the rest of your day. I would say that adults also come into my office and do the same. 

While leadership positions or other venues may beacon Parrish to consider a change, he would need to weigh carefully what he loves and would miss about his current work and life. For now, he is content to continue his important work and contributions at Blue Mountain Union.